I have been censored. Sort of.

I started a freelance contract with NUVO here in Indianapolis, to write a weekly column.  It is called "Hair of the God," and initially was to follow the following format:

Go to comedy show Saturday night, attend worship service Sunday morning.  Review and contrast.

My editor found the "church review" portion of my submission much more viable than the comedy review, so we ran with that.

After its very first printing, the column was pulled from rotation and may now only be found online.  That's right -- Phil van Hest has been officially censored!  Isn't that exciting?  Imagine little me joining the ranks of Aristophanes, J.D. Salinger and Dr. Seuss!

Not really of course, since, as I mentioned its still online, just not in print.  Still, shouldn't I take this as a sign that I'm definitely on to something here?

Here's a link to the article that started it all.

Humor. Technically.

The much anticipated answer to a frequently asked question.

Does your hospital have...THIS?

Just another one of the many reasons I have yet to miss LA.

Seeing this sign at a hospital rendered me instantly infinitely better.

Also I was already fine.  Ask me how!

Battlecat Search Result

Battlecat has been searching in the night.  His search term, "xxxxxccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeee," returned this top result, translated from Chinese:

 
 

Love, as in This Guy

Overheard P on the phone, spelling his last name for someone: "V as in victrola, A as in abounding, N as in neutron bomb, space as in space bar, H as in heterogenous (which he pronounced hetero-jenny-us), E as in ecstatic, S as in synaesthesia, T as in first name Mr."

Things We Say.

N: What's a fartknocker? Is that a thing?
P: (silence.) (Sleeping.)
N: IS IT?????!!!!!
P: (Awake, it turns out.) Oh my god Noelle. What part of me having my beauty sleep mask on don't you understand?!?! Etymology unknown. Christ.

Becoming Community.

Not that I have time to write this, but I am becoming a community.  To honor this transition in my life, Behold the Turtle!  My dear friend Carly Lyn has graciously allowed me to utilize it's severe beauty for the website, and you may absorb its wonder at the top of every page.  Until I have to put a new one up, at which point, just for her and this turtle, I will start a page dedicated to mast-heads so you can always visit.

Toujours la tortue!