Phil van Hest | Saturday, September 17, 2011 
Wes Medina, 2011Phil van Hest | Thursday, September 15, 2011 Re: Battlecat.
"Awww. He's ticklish. (Pause, then sadly) And he doesn't know how to laugh."
-- NML
"My cat is ticklish. Biting you is how he laughs."
-- PvH, same day.
Phil van Hest | Wednesday, September 14, 2011 (To Noelle)
"I don't want to solicit bikini models on Craigslist as part of my daily routine. Wait a minute -- did I just say that?"
-- PvH
Phil van Hest | Saturday, September 3, 2011 
"Hey parents! Send us your children, and we'll send them back -- LOOKING LIKE THIS!"
The scene is very clear in my mind. It's the first night home from summer magic camp, and at about 3AM Mom wakes up to see her son standing on a chair next to the bed looking at her with the pictured expression.
"Mom," the kid whispers seductively. Before she can react, and after a perfectly disturbing pause, his eyes open ever so slightly wider as he breathes, "I'm magic."
Phil van Hest | Wednesday, August 31, 2011 
article by Andrew Roberts, 2011
In a full beard and a sleeveless black bicycle jersey, Phil van Hest follows a five-hour writing binge and a sweaty bike ride through the thick summer heat with a goblet of beer and a careful diagnosis of American debt. He chews over his words with deliberation and candor; the subject of his conversation is well-researched, but the words are improvised and sincere, as one of the city's favorite IndyFringe Festival icons deliberates the material of his newest one-man show, Motherbanking Bankholes.
His long, distinctive beard would be impractical for most men in late July, but it becomes van Hest; it is one of few definable characteristics of one of the most enigmatic men you will ever know.
He is equal parts artist, performer, philosopher, comedian, writer, anthropologist, critic, psychologist, teacher, student and activist. That's not much of a marketable brand, but it is Phil's — and it is all his own. Think of a modern-day Khalil Gibran, with a few more anus jokes.
Phil van Hest | Tuesday, July 26, 2011 -verb
1. To fly into nudity with a loud report.
2. To burst forth violently or emotionally into nudity
Phil van Hest | Wednesday, July 20, 2011 
If you stacked every bill the Federal Reserve System destroys each year, it would reach 463 miles. That's one of the facts listed on the glass behind me. Another interesting fact: 3 out of the 4 cities on my tour schedule this summer have Federal Reserve banks in them. My cameraman is thrilled at the prospect of visiting 2 more Bank/Museums.
In related news, here is an amusing "Proof" of where money comes from, submitted by G.R., who claims the source is anonymous:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows,
Work
---------- = Power
Time
Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have
Work
--------- = Knowledge
Money
Solving for Money, we get:
Work
----------- = Money
Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.
