Conversation Grenade

-noun

1.  When a person ignores the negative response to their question, and launches into his or her pre-planned diatribe anyway.

In a dialogue:

CG:  Hey - did you see/hear/read that film/song/book or other?

YOU:  No.

CG:  Ok well there's this part where the main person is in this thing, you know, and this other person...(etc)

Analysis:

For this type of "conversation" to make any logical sense, the grenadier requires a "yes" response from you.  They ask the question and the conversation is armed.  You say "no," but the pin is pulled!  It's too late now!  What are they supposed to do, stand there with an armed grenade all night?  Clumsily try to bend the cotter pin back into the explosive device?  No!  So they throw it out there anyway, heedless of how their anecdote will make no sense to you.  Nevermind that it is pointless to continue since the person you are addressing has not experienced the thing you want to discuss -- the conversation grenade does not deal in these subtleties.

Conclusion:

If you are the kind of person who does this(I was one, this is how I recognized the process) -- please be prepared to abort your anecdote if the person hasn't read the book, seen the movie, etc.

Example:

CG:  Have you read "Freakonomics?"

YOU:  No.

CG:  Oh.  You should.  It is good.  Would you like a drink?

YOU:  Now we are talking.

Update on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 by Phil van Hest

At a staff meeting.  COWORKER pulled the pin on this "Hangover" related Conversation Grenade.

COWORKER:  Did you see the hangover?

ME:  No.

COWORKER:  Ok well there's this retard in it, or some guy or whatever but he pronounces it rihTARD and the other guy is like "it's REtard" and the other guy's like "rihTARD" "REtard" "rihTARD" they do this whole bit oh god it's so funny.

ME:  BOOM.