Fry, Beast, FRY!!!! (or, The Greatest Day)

Photo by Terry Goss, shared via CCASA 3.0+ Unported License & GNUFDL 1.2+. THIS GUY WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF A BEAST. YEAH! TERRY GOSS!I was the claimant in an Unemployment Appeals Board hearing today, regarding my employment at California State University, Los Angeles (College of Arts & Letters), otherwise known forever in my mind as CAL STATE TOXIC HELL AND TAXPAYER SEWAGE DRAIN.  

I quit that fuckin' job.  I called them up one day and said GUESS WHAT?  I'm not coming in today.  I had grown completely exhausted dealing with some bullying women in my department who made great efforts to demonstrate their dislike of me, and then one day they asked me to do something I was pretty sure was dang illegal, blah blah.  Also because I was tired of participating in that sham of a College.  I can't really speak about the rest of the University, but for all you Artists and Letterers out there -- LOOK ELSEWHERE.  

I'm sorry to everyone who earned a degree there.  I don't doubt that it has had moments of legitimacy and perhaps brilliance.  I met many faculty there whom I loved dearly.  I believe it is even somehow accredited by WASC.  But as someone hired initially as a public relations representative, I can tell you that every single bit of marketing language I created about that University was essentially a lie, because I absolutely never believed that it would be a good idea for anyone to attend that "university."  I vow to be a Chinese tiger mother to my children (TBD), if only to prevent them from attending a California State public school.  I was a liar, for one year and ten months, and it wore me down to my bones.  

I don't even care about the results of the hearing.  I was just glad for the opportunity to say what I said in front of the Director of Human Resources and the attorney OH MY GOD PHIL JUST TOLD ME OUR CAT WOKE UP WITH A BONER, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. (I am so jealous that he got to see a real live cat penis -- how many people does that happen to?!  Well, the day just keeps getting greater and greater.)  Um.  I was saying. Shared via Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported and GNU Free Documentation License 1.2 +, courtesy of the Scheider Family Collection via Wikipedia. Whew! Before that terribly rude interruption.  I was saying that I was happy I got to speak my mind in front of the Director of Human Resources, to let her know what some of her employees are REALLY like.  She pretty much looked like a doe in the headlights the entire time, but I probably looked like a porcupine in a cement truck.  I was having a bad hair day and I REALLY wanted to just get out of there and never EVER have to think about Cal State LA again.  

So, you might be wondering, WHY was this day THE GREATEST DAY?  I will tell you.  This day was great because, on the way to the Inglewood Office of Appeals, I had to drive past the film shoot that has been going on in our neighborhood for the last 4 days, and I saw, standing on the curb, all nonchalant like, sipping coffee out of a styrofoam cup, and looking so cool in a black turtleneck:  ROY SCHEIDER.  THE STAR OF JAWS II.  (Also JAWS, but number two totally blew Jaws out of the water.  <--- accidental brilliance there, people.)  Now, you might be saying to yourself, NOELLE.  YOU STUPID TWAT.  ROY SCHEIDER HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE 2008.  And you would be right.  But this morning, at 7 o'clock in the morning, I didn't know that.  I only thought to myself, OH MY GAWD THAT IS CHIEF BRODY!  And I knew today was going to be the greatest day.  

Before you go all referring to schience and facts and shit, just let me have my gods!