Our First Turkey

With the gracious co-roasting of the lovely E., and with the assistance of Mr. Phil van Hest, supported in part by Mr. van Hest Sr., this bird was born of an oven somewhere in California.  And before you explode with post-consumer green-sustaining poop coming out your ears, please know -- this turkey is organic, free-range, cage-free, hormone-free, has a perfect credit score, uses only local ingredients, and was blessed by a pagan priestess, AND its original conception was presided upon by the holy spirit himself.