If I could perfect the technique involved in the following story, I might never have to work again:
So I've had this shirt for many many years, and for as many years it stayed in the bottom of a drawer because I thought it was "stupid." Now of course I'm really into that kind of thing, so today I wore it to work.
I ordered a blueberry scone at the coffee place, and the lady said,
"Nice shirt." I gave her exact change, and as she started to get the scone I said,
"Yeah, and philosophical too. We all know who farted because we have an outside perspective. We can look at the larger picture so it's very clear to us who farted, but this guy is lost in a cloud of bubble stink, he's hurt angry and confused. If he could just step back from his position and look at it objectively he would see the answer to his question right in front of him."
I couldn't tell if she was amused or confused, but I'm going with the latter because she gave me a scone and a large coffee, saying "Have a nice day."