Point and Match!

I used to work with a bunch of rowdy roughneck characters. 

I overheard one of them talking about some girl he had ... "bedazzled" shall we say, and I said,

"Wait a minute J, aren't you married?"

"Yeah, but if you're not cheatin', you're cheatin' yourself."  Much knowledgable laughter was shared amongst them.

Such conviction!  Touché sir!  Point and match!  I like to imagine that those words were part of his wedding vows.

"Do you J, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, so long as you both shall live, keeping in mind that if you're not cheating you're cheating yourself?"

"I do!"

"And you, unfortunate lady, do you agree to just shut the fuck up, so long as J deems it appropriate for you to live?"

"I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW!"

"I know pronounce you man and ... wife.  You may now ruin each other's lives."