Severance Package.

To clarify, the device in my eye there is an "irrigator," not a "harvester." 

On with the story, which goes a bit like this:

Three years of work in a scene shop with no incident, and suddenly it was my final half hour of employment; I was nearly free.
I've seen enough horror themed film to be aware that the time to be afraid was now, but putting away lumber isn't dangerous.  First time for everything!
From behind me in the bilious swamp the job monster reached out, poked me in the eye with a splinter and dragged me off to the ER.
"Splinters" are to "Business" what "Location" is to "Location."