Wanted: Loudmouth Storyteller

OK.  I think what the liberal-progressive-left-ish people need is a loud-mouthed media-whore jackass.  Someone who is full of half-researched extreme opinions, and who spouts them with totally earnest conviction.  Fuck facts.  They obviously don't work.  What we need is A STORYTELLER. 

I wonder if I know anyone who would be up to the task.