Wind-BreakersTM

OK so, the blueprints are forthcoming, but these guys are going to save marriages and careers.  Imagine, if you will, a large panty-liner, but instead of space-age absorbent material inside, it is stuffed with a soon-to-be patented combination of something like shredded dryer sheets, charcoal flakes and baking powder.  And, live sunflowers.  Stick it in your panties or briefs over your butt.

Boom.

Wind-BreakersTM.

For: meetings, movies, car-trips, sharing a bed with your partner.  I mean, what are you going to do?  Change your diet and eat responsibly?  Pay attention to which foods affect your gastric system in certain ways?  Not in America, pal.  Go get yourself some antacids and a box of Wind-BreakersTM.