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Entries by Title
Click on an entry title below to view the full text of that entry.
- Cast me.
- SkyMall Favorite
- Cat or Baby? (Or Phil?)
- Phil Does it with Bottle caps.
- On the Fringe
- Amerka
- Pervious
- I have been censored. Sort of.
- Humor. Technically.
- Does your hospital have...THIS?
- Battlecat Search Result
- Love, as in This Guy
- Things We Say.
- Becoming Community.
- Spuds McBabyJesus
- Things We Say.
- Shopping Season Post-Facto.
- The Mayor and I.
- Nogotiation
- How to make a Coffee Can Lamp!
- Things Noelle Says
- And then, That's IT.
- I'm in Public Service now.
- Found Notes.
- Motherbanking Bankholes; Live at IndyFringe 2011
- Funny About That with Phil van Hest; Superbowl and Public Nudity Edition.
- Butler University's 1st Annual Green Summit.
- Baby, you know I don't want to go.
- The Best Thing You'll Ever Hear.
- Things Phil & Noelle Say
- Things Phil Says.
- I'm Magic.
- Cover Boy: The Non-Musical
- Explose
- It's real money, but it doesn't exist.
- #FringeTour
- You think you know someone
- Motherbanking Bankholes: Official Trailer
- Cuketail
- Out of Jail: Endnote
- Money as Debt.
- Things People Say
- I Met a Man in Martinsville.
- My Sister's 1st TV appearance!
- Culture Flash: LA to Indy
- Battlecat Barbershop
- Thank you 32
- Where There's Soap, There's Hope
- Politicized
- Waning Moon Fetus Cat
- Phil Dramatically Interprets "Missed Connections."
- AMERICA: HEED THE CALL TO PHILACTION.
- Phil Goes to Prison.
- My Spanish Softball Team.
- Funcertainty
- False Advertising?
- Book Review: Ethics for the New Millennium by The Dalai Lama.
- Limerick time!
- Twogether, a haiku.
- Bet you didn't know.
- Something Meredith Said.
- Foot-Holio
- Ruined by the internet.
- I Keep Forgetting.
- Things Mimi Says.
- Things Phil Says.
- Going through old notebooks.
- Conversation with my Sister.
- Hunter Casual
- Quanticide
- Persuavity
- You Should Have Known.
- A Poem by Bernie Goldsmith
- Google Image Search Results: More Donald Trump
- Google Image Search Results
- Springtime in Indy
- The Fart Comment
- I broke a nail.
- Dicksterity
- Catbitat
- If it's not for sale, it's free.
- American & Long Story Short
- Mother's Day Season.
- Things Phil Says
- Easter bitchez. Easter.
- Things Phil Says
- #MovingSinceFebruary
- Oklahoma
- Lake Eufala, OK
- Tucumcari, NM
- Severance Package.
- Worlds of L.A.
- Things Phil Says
- Things Phil Says
- Move it busterette.
- I just found this in Noelle's notebook.
- Flip-Up: Home Edition.
- Sno-tra the Dog. "Swimming."
- Desert Dweller
- Overheard
- Full-time Dirty
- Remain Calm
- Mansition
- Late for work again.
- Things Phil Says
- Catalina Island: Ghost Trap.
- Things Phil Says
- Wine Reviews with Noelle.
- Again With the Dramatic Interpretations.
- Nature Preserve: L.A. Style.
- Learning Crane
- How it Feels to be Me
- Things Phil Says
- Money. Not so funny.
- Rotten Fruit
- Things Phil Says
- This is why I'm always late.
- The End of Emotional Responsibility.
- Things Phil Says
- Four Years, with THIS Guy
- Things Phil Says
- Things Phil Says
- Modern Relax
- What a Lemon
- Wanted: Loudmouth Storyteller
- Things Phil Says
- Things Phil Says
- Incoming
- Suicide Bus
- Things Phil Says
- Horrible, or Heartening?
- Plutocracy
- Bulk Bin
- Mark Taper Forum
- Sure, Buddy
- SOMEBODY SAID VAGINA ON THE HOUSE FLOOR!
- Rollover, Lady!
- Morning Dance Party
- Two Tenths of a Penny Per Taxpayer
- Love is a Battlecat: March 19 in Davis, CA
- All Babies are Drunk, All the Time
- 200 Countries, 200 Years
- Better than Gaga
- University Special Edition II
- Havitol
- Love Grows Where Your Nose Blows
- University Special Edition
- It's a plant stem, not a foot.
- Things People Say
- Sound the Day
- Things Phil Says
- My Flagged Craigslist Post.
- Worst. Union. Ever.
- Things Phil Says
- Free Pools!
- Philosofart = Free Coffee
- Packing Garbage.
- 11-99
- Surpriety
- The Stinker
- Putting Art Before the Horse
- Oh. Michael. God.
- Farble
- Catholic Candy Girl
- Home
- Fry, Beast, FRY!!!! (or, The Greatest Day)
- Ah, the job.
- Coastal Disturbance
- My Darling Booger
- Pee Walker
- Florgy
- Norman and the Raccoon
- Phil the Void presents LOVE IS A BATTLECAT in Long Beach
- Stage Manager Comic
- RE THE FUCK LAX
- Things Phil Says
- What's in a hat?
- He Loves Me?
- Fauxmental
- Oohhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww!
- NO PARKING RIGHT NOW
- Things Phil Says
- I Might Be Related to This Kid
- Staff Meeting
- Anthropovaginize
- Death Row Upgrade
- You will not defeat me.
- Conversation Grenade
- Oh, Yes, Your Island is Fabulous
- Things People Say
- Things Phil Says
- Mr. McPee
- Unsettling Political Semantics
- Things Phil Says
- Phil's Face Recognition Porno Service
- Make a "Million-Dollar-a-Day-Idea Calendar"
- Big Stick Creamsicle
- Communicator Pin
- The Christmas Spirit.
- Tales of the City, by Armistead Maupin
- Strategic Grill Location
- Our Internet Commercial for Classic Shaving
- The President emails me.
- Wind-BreakersTM
- Undertainment
- Focus: John Tesh
- Fanny Pack
- Dinner Tonight
- Plum Pooped
- Truffles!
- Things Phil Says
- Cat Soup for the Soul
- Consumer Tracking
- Amazon just asked me to sell them back a book I bought.
- Things Noelle Says
- Things People Say
- Things Noelle Says
- The Cookies that Make People Cry
- Universe Revealed to be Made of Cookies
- Marzipan Aftermath
- Pre-Oven State
- We are Moving to INDIANAPOLIS. This is true.
- Meet Your Majjers
- My First Date: 13 Years Old; Coventry Rhode Island.
- The Hole Sucks
- Palm Saturday
- Twenty ELEVEN?!
- My Favorite Holiday Hymn
- Dishfriends, again
- 2/11
- Dear Mr. Obama,
- Credit Card Trophy Hunting
- One Out of Five Phils Agree
- Composing Our Holiday Card
- I've Started Wearing Padded Bras. Part I.
- New Multi-Billion Light-Up Phallus
- Remember when "Store Bought" was an insult?
- Dishfriends
- Our First Turkey
- How to Increase Happiness at Work
- Starbucks: Refilled.
- "We're older, we should know more about the internet, but that's not the way it works."
- Gold Babies
- Baby Gold
- Randy Newman
- Rich Diculous
- ThanXmas
- Things Phil Says
- War Class
- Point and Match!
- Wrong Group
- Preview THIS
- Tree Blood
- Potty Humor Comic Fragment
- Bye Bye Big Banking
- I Don't Know What This Is
- Food O'Lantern!
- Phil O'Lantern
- Noelle O'Lantern
- Afternoon Makeup Appointment
- Before and After
- Official 2010 Battlecat Voters' Guide
- The more I watched, the worse I felt.
- Our First Doodle Song, or; Our First Dong. Sondle? Dong.
- A Place For Almost Everything
- The Magenta Explosion
- Weinergy
- Things Phil Says
- The Writing Season
- Driving to work
- Teacup Illusion
- The Magic Morning Fairey
- A Magic Morning Fairey Left This Breakfast For Me
- The Great Brain Robbery, at the Andy Dick Theater
- Sick Day
- Social Grace
- Things Phil Says
- Cats
- What I Am Looking At Right Now
- Begin Weeping Now
- Disco O'Clock!!!
- Hot Lady Craftmania
- I Eviscerate Things Daily
- What I Am Looking At Right Now
- Things Phil Says
- Almond Meringue
- Lavender Shortbread
- I'm Ready to be Served Now
- What I Am Looking At Right Now
- We Made a Table
- That Tile Got Laid
- I'm Permanently Borrowing this Dress
- What I Am Looking At Right Now
- I Ironed a Tablecloth
- What I Am Looking At Right Now
- What I Am Looking At Right Now
- What I Am Looking At Right Now
- Taby on Board
- "There's nowhere to set the clean laundry," he said.
- Things Phil Says
- Clown-Hill Skiing.
- My First Internet-TV Gig
- The Mirena I.U.D., a Product Review
- In the Beginning, there was Sex Pie.
- Oh Boy, Obama!
- Love Is...
- The Big C
- I Saw a Dead Person on The Way to Work This Morning
- After a Night Out in Fabulous Los Feliz, CA!
- The Tattoo Story
- Experimental Confused Bad Feeling Bit
- Love-ish Letter for the Millenial Generation
- Goorillas in the Missed: Abort Mission
- Goorillas in the Missed: Day 18
- Goorillas in the Missed: The Bellies of the Beasts
- Goorillas in the Missed: Days 3 & 4
- Goorillas in the Missed: Day 2
- Goorillas in the Missed: Day 1
- A Brief Stop at El Club on Un Dia to Remember
- Holy God, A Man Washed My Dishes
- Old People Still Make Love
- Phil the Void; The "Nature Abhors A Vacuum" Preview!
- Three-Hundred and Thirty-Three Things I'm Thankful For
- Gross and Fun Cuts and Body Parts
- Things Phil Says
- Survey Says: Lame Game
- Mimi is In the Hospital
- Things Phil Says
- Alarmed, or, Why Do People Get So Angry at Cement?
- Thoroughly Unknown Anonymous Man Predicts Phone/Cancer Link - 12 Years Ago
- Tybalt & Mercutio, AKA Phil & Josh, 1996